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How to Be a Person in the World: Ask Polly's Guide Through the Paradoxes of Modern Life, by Heather Havrilesky
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Review
Praise for Heather Havrilesky's How to Be a Person in the WorldA Best Book of the YearNPR * Esquire * Harper’s Bazaar * Nylon * The Huffington Post * PopSugar"Funny, staggering, no-bullshit sculptures of insight." —Leslie Jamison, Paris Review“Under her Ask Polly moniker, Havrilesky dishes radically honest, no-nonsense advice tempered with self-deprecating humor, gleeful profanity, and an unfettered voice.” —Los Angeles Times“The best advice columnist of her generation.” —Esquire “There’s something nourishing in every column. . . . But sometimes [Havrilesky] writes things that are like opening up the fridge and finding the universe inside.” —The Atlantic “Warm and charismatic. . . . Genuinely humorous and compelling. . . . Polly gets it.” —The New York Times Book Review "With vicious wit and merciless accuracy, [Havrilesky] isolates motivations, redirects anxious and defeatist energy, and delivers specific, usually hilarious, instructions." —The Paris Review“If you are even a little bit interested in people and the world, then this book will interest you. And if you think you aren’t interested in people or the world, then you should read this book anyway because it might surprise you by proving that there’s a lot to reward such interest—and compassion and empathy—after all.” —Chicago Tribune “[Havrilesky] is part Buddha and part Amy Schumer: Wise, whip-smart, and profanely funny.” —Entertainment Weekly “On one hand, [Havrilesky] will shake you by the shoulders and tell you the truth. On the other, she’s the friend rooting you on, cursing (creatively) all the way. . . . Havrilesky abandons the prim and proper and instead delivers delightfully offbeat wisdom with a side of straight talk.” —NPR Books “A comfort to read. . . . There is real love behind [Havrilesky’s] tough love. . . . Even if you feel you’re not in need of advice yourself, you will surely value Havrilesky’s astute social commentary.” —San Francisco Chronicle “Irresistible. . . . Alluringly wry. . . . [Others] promise to help us clean up our messes. But Havrilesky leans into the mess until it swallows her, its embrace resembling something like light.” —Slate “Casual and pathologically sincere, like you’ve just stumbled into the most engaging conversation at a party after spending 30 minutes talking about the weather across the room.” —Vogue.com “In moments of despair, Havrilesky’s elegant writing and rock-solid judgment can change your entire outlook. Read How to Be a Person in the World for the advice, but stay for the pure magic that is her perceptiveness and prose.” —Paper Magazine
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About the Author
Heather Havrilesky is the author of the memoir Disaster Preparedness. She has written for New York magazine, The New York Times Book Review, the Los Angeles Times, The New York Times Magazine, Bookforum, The New Yorker, NPR's All Things Considered, and several anthologies. She was a TV critic at Salon for seven years. She lives in Los Angeles with her husband and a loud assortment of dependents, most of them nondeductible. www.hhavrilesky.com
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Product details
Paperback: 272 pages
Publisher: Anchor; Reprint edition (June 27, 2017)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9781101911587
ISBN-13: 978-1101911587
ASIN: 1101911581
Product Dimensions:
5.2 x 0.8 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.3 out of 5 stars
92 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#31,991 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Being a person these days is pretty tough. I think that we live in a world where we are under a lot of pressure to Work Very Hard, All The Time, so that we can Be Amazing in a way that seems Almost Effortless. This pressure builds, over time, similar to how our closets and the spaces under our beds, and bottom desk drawers just get full. We don't want to be judged, and we are always worried we are being judged. And we feel alone in this, we feel like we are the only person who could possibly be secretly broken. Everyone else has these wonderful instagram photographs of themselves, see, where they're standing outside of an ice cream shop smiling, perfectly filtered and perfectly happy.And here is where Heather Havrilesky comes in. For years she has been someone you could write to to ask about why you are increasingly falling apart in different ways, and she would take these letters and pick some that seemed somehow more universal, and then she would write columns giving out advice that tends to boil down to: "hey, it's ok, it's ok to be you, the real you." And she's written this book here, which is full of important things that people should know. And it's one of those books where you will read a chapter, or even a few paragraphs, and then you'll have to stop and put the book down on your chest (this book is very good for reading while lying down, late at night) and stare up at the ceiling and you will think "oh gosh, gosh gosh, that is an important thing for me to have read, that is a good way of putting that complicated emotion that I have inside me." And you might be one of those people who has a pencil on their nightstand and you will underline a sentence or two. And slowly, slowly, while reading a book like this, you will come to understand yourself, or your loved ones, or even your acquaintances a little better. Which is what we need in this increasingly terrifying world. We just need to understand that we're all swimming in the same dark, open ocean.Buy this book! It's got good things inside of it. And you have good things inside of you, too! And this book will help you perhaps realize that.
I've never read "ask Polly" before, but I bought his book after hearing about it on NPR. It's amazing! I love the straight-talk that's so far from the wishy-washy "but how do *you* feel??" response that is so common when asking for advice. Her internal voice, which she references often, is very relatable and gives the reader many "wait...so I'm not the only one who thinks that?" moments. She shares grown-up perspectives without being preachy, and stresses the importance of forgiving yourself for being human while also challenging yourself to be better. It's in Q/A format and though I couldn't relate to all of the questions I read them anyway because the responses are so good. Take the plunge and buy it - Your day will be better after reading this book.
I bought this book on a whim. Was not familiar with the author. I'm a middle-aged woman, not exactly the target audience, I don't think, but am loving this book so hard. Ms. Havrilesky gives out a unique blend of wise and no-BS advice. I wish I could have read this in my youth. This may sound like hyperbole, but - it would have been life-changing. I plan to give this book to my 20 yr old daughter when I'm done with it.
Ask Polly is the highlight of my Wednesday-- I have columns bookmarked and text docs with my favorite quotes. I am in the middle of a break up with tepid MF-er #16 and if it weren't for Polly I probably wouldn't have the resolve to do it. She is the aunt you never had but so desperately need. The Kanye column is what hooked me - so glad it's in there (although the Yes guitarist column is 💯💯💯💯). I recommend it to all of my friends but haven't lent it out because I keep re-reading it.
I am a huge Ask Polly fan and this book does not disappoint. It is about 75% new material and oh boy, is it good. It has a few of my old favorites that I go back and reread regularly (What Would Kanye Do?) but the new stuff is just as fantastic as the previous stuff.This advice column has honestly changed my life over the last 18 months and this book gives me the feels because it is As Polly at its finest, and then some.I bought the hardcover because it's a book I can see myself reading again and again.
I love reading advice columns, so this book is right up my alley. She mostly tries to get her letter writers to be consciously aware of their own viewpoints, and for the most part stays away from prescribing cures to their problems.One piece I did take issue with involves a LW who is grieving their father and whose mother thinks they should be over it by now. HH wants to believe the best about the mother but without knowing the family more, her advice might just be even more hurt. There are toxic people, there are narcissists, and I have personal experience with both.That said, the end piece is a lovely little thing. It made me smile.
I love it. I want to share it. If you're stuck or sad or just not sure how to do the "life" or "human interaction" things that it seems like everyone else manages effortlessly, read these lovely essays that feel like they're for you even though they're answering someone with seemingly different issues. Start from the beginning, or open at random. Savor.
I am obsessed with Ask Polly’s weekly column in The Cut, so I was thrilled to find out I could get my Ask Polly fix in a book. Heather Havrilesky is a superb writer with cutting, insightful, funny, honest, empathetic advice that will warm your heart and make you laugh. Even on topics completely irrelevant to my life, I’m able to find something relatable in Polly’s advice. Since buying this book I’ve practically become an Ask Polly disciple, trying to get all my friends to read this book and partake in her wisdom as well.
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